We went back to the pediatrician's office today and they ran a couple of minor tests, gave Cyrus a breathing treatment, blah blah. Poor Collin was pitifully sick and I had left the stroller in the garage after having picked up the nine cases of Pediasure from the WIC office the day before. That made our trip to the Dr more interesting, me and two sick little kids; at least Cyrus can walk. We got some antibiotics and some serious cough medicine (basically the same toilet bowl blue stuff, only this time it was purple!) and then we got the kicker. If they are still running a fever by Sat morning then we need to take them in for pneumonia. Lung x-rays, blood tests, the works; and we all know how I feel about blood being drawn from my scarred-veined children. Please, PLEASE, do not let this be pneumonia.
We have missed two therapy appointments, one gastroenterology appointment, and now our last Kindermusik class tomorrow due to this sickness. I am running on caffeine and asian noodle bowls, not getting much sleep, and I am having trouble remembering things even more than I usually do. But who knows if that is just because of this recent sickness or a gradual disintegration of my abilities to function. Thank goodness for Starbucks, or else I may not be able to get out of bed (or off the couch) everyday. Perhaps one day I will accept this life, and stop wishing for them to become healthy little boys without any problems, not have an eternity of debt calling us on a daily basis, have the energy to keep my house as clean and well kept as I would like, have the help to take care of my children and my household the way they deserve, etc.
Now I have to worry about Christmas, and I hate feeling like Christmas is a burden, I love Christmas time, so many wonderful memories of the season. I love shopping for loved ones and getting together with family, yet everything is so complicated now and time is against me. I have never blamed my wonderful boys for my feelings, they are the blessing, the only bright things that make all this tolerable. I just wish it did not have to be this hard, so much I feel illequipped to handle, all that I have to be responsible for. I wish I could be supermom, and happy to take on every problem with grace and wisdom. I wish for many things...
2 comments:
Yuck, yuck, yuck... So sorry that everyone is so sick. Trust me when I say that I know how you feel. Not just the everyone being sick thing, but in the feelings of frustration, and inadequacy, and just plain tiredness. I have been there too many times to count.
The only advice I have is to try to take things one day at a time, and try not to put so much pressure to be perfect. This too shall pass!
Billie
Bummer, I feel the same way. Both my boys are sick, too, and we are so far behind on the holiday stuff, it's going to be a less-fun Christmas than in prior years. I think a lot of people will be getting IOUs as gifts, as I haven't been able to shop at all, not even online with a tiny sick baby crying and coughing in my arms. May all the boys get better soon and their supermoms suddenly get our pre-baby energy back!
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